Internal Look into Infidelity and the Outcomes Essay Example for Free

Internal Look into Infidelity and the Outcomes Essay Infidelity can happen at the blink of an eye, especially if a person is not aware of their current relationship standings with their partner. A partner may display two types of infidelity, emotional and sexual. Each type of infidelity is seen differently by men and women on an opposite scale according to (Buss, Larsen, and Westen, 1996; Buss et al., 1992; Buunk et al., 1996; Trivers, 1972). The causes for infidelity are somewhat the same for men and women; however, there are a few differences that vary between the two groups. When infidelity has happened the decision is ultimately whether a couple will either focus to stay together or dissolve the relationship. Through a deeper look between the two types of infidelity, along with the perception men and women have about its outcomes, a definite understanding is very clear why and how infidelity usually happens in the first place. Although many relationships survive infidelity, The trust is gone, completely gone, says Michael Baisden, relationship counselor and author of Never Satisfied: How and Why Men cheat. And trust is the most important thing in a relationship. The decision will vary from person to person on the continuance with a relationship after the other partner cheats. For myself, it depends on who the person is, my standards often change from partner to partner. Infidelity defined is an action or state of being unfaithful to a spouse or another sexual partner. According to the most prevalent study using the framework of evolutionary psychology a study used by Buss, Larsen, Westen, and Semmelroth (1992), individuals where asked whether they would be more upset or jealous, if their partner had sexual intercourse or formed a deep emotional bond with someone else. Men and women were very different in their answers. Emotional infidelity occurs when a partner gets involved with caring deeply for a person that that is not their significant other. An emotional infidelity can hurt just as much to the other person as if they had already had sex with the other person involved. Sexual infidelity is the actual act of having sex outside of a person’s current relationship or marriage. When this action occurs, it is almost certain that the relationship will have troubling times ahead. How these two types of infidelities are seen by both men and women vary greatly on the scale. Men are very likely to become upset and end a relationship if  their girlfriend or wife were to have sexual encounters with another man vs. an emotional connection. The same cannot be said about women. According to (Buss, Larsen, and Westen, 1996; Buss et al., 1992; Buunk et al., 1996; Trivers, 1972), women tend to overlook a sexual infidelity but, are more affected by emotional bonds their boyfriend or husband acquires with another woman. Men tend to have a fear of uncertainty with offspring if a woman commits sexual infidelity that in turn tends to make him more susceptible to leaving a relationship. On the other hand, women are more invested in the emotional stability in her partner which in turn makes the woman more angered and upset over an emotional infidelity. The perceived outcomes for the two different types of infidelity are total opposites between men and women whereas the causes for infidelity is somewhat similar. The causes for infidelity are almost the same for men and women. Jennifer Harman, PhD., a professor of psychology at Colorado State University, stated â€Å"People do not just cheat for no reason. It used to be perceived that men were the bigger cheaters, however, according to the National Opinion Research Center study found that women having affairs rose from 14 percent to nearly 40 percent over the past 20 years. Women are in need of passion from their partner. Even the small things from walks in the park to a wine tasting can fulfill dissatisfaction. Petty arguments that hold insecurities and grudges is common for most women to experience. A need for her partner to understand and talk openly about problems and solutions is key for some women to feel connected. Women are also more attracted to men who are confident and ambitious which can sometimes lead to dissatisfaction with their partner if they are not in a manly position. Men also tend to have the same outlook when cheating comes to mind. If a man succeeded in filling his ego tank up an affair would make him feel powerful and desired. Sometimes men cheat because they are not being understood by their partner. If men were more open in communicating feelings freely, this would not be an issue. When men cheat the difference to theirs actions is a need to escape the reality of home rather than leave their relationship. Women, however, are typically silent in their actions but tend to plan an escape route out of the relationship after they begin cheating. The solution to ending a cheating cycle is to either dissolve the relationship or work on overcoming the struggles infidelity has caused on the relationship. Though people  sometimes choose to work things out, many ultimately work together for dissolving the relationship. Overcoming infidelity is very difficult task. Trust is compromised and very hard to regain on many levels and often takes years to rebuild. Without trust in a relationship, it is almost inevitable for disaster since trust is the viewed as the core for holding a relationship together. To overcome this is sometimes not worth the stress, time and patience, especially if this is just a romantic relationship with no children involved or when a marriage is at stake. On the other hand, long term relationship and married couples will often try to work through these troubling road blocks. When a person has more time invested or other things at stake, the decision is more comfortable to make when working things out. Some of these relationships and marriages last after infidelity but half do not. When a couple comfortably communicates and understand the deepness of how infidelity affects a relationship before, they agree to commit the partnership will be more successful. The most important factor is understanding to what extent infidelity can occur as both male and female have shown different tolerances for emotional and sexual encounters. Just having a deeper look into how differently men and women think help to understand their actions. With the listed information in mind, it is just as important to remember that women enjoy time with their partner, openness with information, and a man that is confident in himself. Men have a larger ego that needs to be stroked often, just saying how good he looks, or less nagging by their partner and more open communication they tend to have their needs met. When infidelity occurs because none of these needs is fulfilled, it is almost certain the relationship will not last. Just by knowing these things should make any male or female want to rethink actions or even the possibility of starting or moving ahead in a relationship.

Edgar Allan Poe: Life and Works Essay -- essays research papers

  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Edgar Allan Poe was a literary genius of his time. His works may seem eccentric but beneath the words and stories lies a solemn, alone boy whose only way of comfort and relief was through his pen. Of the critical reviews I have studied pertaining to Poe, never has such a varied difference of opinions been presented or suggested towards a writer. It is thought that his life had a major influence on his writing and by reading many of his pieces I agree with that statement. Edgar Poe was born in Boston on January 19, 1809 to actors Elisabeth Arnold Poe and David Poe Junior. Edgar had a brother Henry, who was a year older than him, and a younger sister, Rosalie. His mother and father separated a couple months after Rosalie’s birth. When Edgar was two his mother passed away and a few weeks later his father died as well. As a result, Edgar and his siblings became separated. John Allan took in Edgar where he was christened as Edgar Allan Poe. Three years later the Allan’s moved to England where he attended Manor House School for three years. Even though Edgar performed very well in school, he only seemed to remember his school days in London as lonely and unhappy. After three years, they returned to Virginia but Poe felt abandoned constantly. Mr. Allan was always busy with work and his wife was in a constant state of illness. The Allans never legally adopted Poe; resulting in many cards and greetings sent to the family that would fail to mention Edgar.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  When Edgar was a teenager the Allans moved around frequently. In 1822, the family finally settled in Richmond, in a house rented from William Galt. Edgar continued with his education, and by the age of fourteen, he was attending the Academy of Joseph H. Clarke. He did very well academically and the academy not only encouraged his studies but nourished his gift for language. Poe excelled in Latin and French, and at age sixteen he wrote the poem â€Å"Oh Tempora! Oh Mores!† While at school Poe excelled at writing by authoring countless numbers of poems. My research indicates that Poe had the potential to publish a book of poetry. For reasons unknown the Academy of Joseph H. Clark was not receptive to this venture and persuaded Poe’s stepfather not to entertain such notions. The school also brought out the athlete in Poe. He was a good runner, leaper, boxer, and sw... ...urity and anger towards John Allan often kept him from succeeding and doing well in life. He was in a constant uphill and downhill race. He didn’t want success enough for himself and let John Allan ruin his chances of becoming wealthy and happy with himself. One would think though, is it better he was treated that way? For this treatment created one of the world’s most renowned, controversial and heavily debated writers ever. In my opinion, Poe’s purpose was to let everyone know how he felt and what he felt, and with his intelligence and proper English and grammatical skills he was allowed to do so with writing. It is often said writing is a form of calming relief, whether the content be brutal or serene, those who write seem to explore and take in more from life then those who sit by and not use their imaginations. Poe may have gone deep into his and composed papers of mystery and confusion but he also reminded us about the side many people shut off in fear of harming others or being harmed themselves. Death is not a fun topic to discuss and with the way Poe would word his writings he made death itself become a light musical of phrases and poems that will be forever in our minds.

Life Dosen’t Frighten Me Essay

The speaker takes on the stance that she is fearless against common fears in life She deals with her fears in an imaginary sort of way. She faces them with a magic charm ‘ that she keep[s] up [her] sleeve, not in a realistic way by marching up to them and facing them with courage, for example. The author denies that she actually has any fears. Magic, the way she deals with her fears , is not real therefore I believe she is in denial of her fears I don ‘t think the author is afraid of what anything in the actual poem I think that she has probably already faced and conquered these particular fears or been subjected to them at some point already in her life. This is why she does not fear them because they are not unknown. The author should not be afraid of these fears because they are mostly childhood fears I think she strongly refused to be afraid of them because they are childish fears If the author was actually afraid of shadows, noises, ghosts, dogs being alone, stranger s, and boys, I ‘d take it that she was very childish in her manners and had not been exposed to much in her life . While most children fear these things initially , they grow up and overcome those fears as they face life. I think that if the writer were to be afraid of these , she may possibly be classified in a stereotypical manner of a young girl , but certainly not a woman , especially in the twenty first century where woman ‘ suggest strength and power almost equal to that of man. However, girl ‘ still holds the stereotype of weaker frailer, and in need of being protected (from things such as fears I do not find it interesting at all that of these things frighten the speaker. I think the speaker is trying to be convey strength, but it is such an immature strength , that it is a very weak argument. According to the fifth stanza , the speaker seems to be saying that boys are nasty brutes who pick on the girls who appear to be extremely girly. The speaker probably fits in physically and stereotypically with the children , but mentally, emotionally, and intellectually she is older since she can detach herself from life . She is more artistic and free in that sense than her peers. Other indicators that the speaker is fearless is how she makes the ghosts go away I go boo. Make them shoo ‘ and her sense that anything is possible I can walk the ocean floor. And never have to breathe. Strangers in the dark frighten me slightly as do panthers, but only if they are loose.

Class Identity in Feudal Japan - Fun Facts and Examples

Feudal Japan had a four-tiered social structure based on the principle of military preparedness. At the top were the daimyo and their samurai retainers. Three varieties of commoners stood below the samurai: farmers, craftsmen, and merchants. Other people were excluded entirely from the hierarchy, and assigned to unpleasant or unclean duties such as leather tanning, butchering animals and executing condemned criminals.  They are politely known as burakumin, or people of the village. In its basic outline, this system seems very rigid and absolute. However, the system was both more fluid and more interesting than the short description implies. Here are some examples of how the feudal Japanese social system actually functioned in peoples daily lives. †¢ If a woman from a common family got engaged to a samurai, she could be officially adopted by a second samurai family. This circumvented the ban on commoners and samurai intermarrying. †¢ When a horse, ox or other large farm animal died, it became the property of the local outcasts. It did not matter if the animal had been the personal property of a farmer, or if its body was on a daimyos land; once it was dead, only the eta had any right to it. †¢ For more than 200 years, from 1600 to 1868, the entire Japanese social structure revolved around support of the samurai military establishment. During that time period, though, there were no major wars. Most samurai served as bureaucrats. †¢ The samurai class basically lived on a form of social security. They were paid a set stipend, in rice, and did not get raises for cost-of-living increases. As a result, some samurai families had to turn to the manufacture of small goods like umbrellas or toothpicks to make a living. They would secretly pass these items on to peddlers to sell. †¢ Although there were separate laws for the samurai class, most laws applied to all three types of commoners equally. †¢ Samurai and commoners even had different kinds of mailing addresses. The commoners were identified by which imperial province they lived in, while samurai were identified by which daimyos domain they served. †¢ Commoners who tried unsuccessfully to commit suicide because of love were considered criminals, but they could not be executed. (That would just give them their wish, right?) So, they became outcast non-persons, or hinin, instead. †¢ Being an outcast wasnt necessarily a grinding existence. One headman of the Edo (Tokyo) outcasts, named Danzaemon, wore two swords like a samurai and enjoyed the privileges normally associated with a minor daimyo. †¢ To maintain the distinction between samurai and commoners, the government conducted raids called sword hunts or katanagari. Commoners discovered with swords, daggers or firearms would be put to death. Of course, this also discouraged peasant uprisings. †¢ Commoners were not allowed to have surnames (family names) unless they had been awarded one for special service to their daimyo. †¢ Although the eta class of outcasts was associated with the disposal of animal carcasses and the execution of criminals, most actually made their living by farming. Their unclean duties were just a side-line. Still, they could not be considered in the same class as commoner farmers, because they were outcasts. †¢ People with Hansens disease (also called leprosy) lived segregated in the hinin community. However, on the Lunar New Year and Midsummers Eve, they would go out into the city to perform monoyoshi (a celebration ritual) in front of peoples homes. The townspeople then rewarded them with food or cash. As with the western Halloween tradition, if the reward was not sufficient, the lepers would play a prank or steal something. †¢ Blind Japanese remained in the class to which they were born - samurai, farmer, etc. - so long as they stayed in the family home. If they ventured out to work as story-tellers, masseurs, or beggers, then they had to join the blind persons guild, which was a self-governing social group outside of the four-tier system. †¢ Some commoners, called gomune, took on the role of wandering performers and beggers that would normally have been within the outcasts domain. As soon as the gomune stopped begging and settled down to farming or craft-work, however, they regained their status as commoners. They were not condemned to remain outcasts. Source Howell, David L. Geographies of Identity in Nineteenth-Century Japan, Berkeley: University of California Press, 2005.